You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
