he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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