Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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