Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
