i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
