The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
