and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
