There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
