You just made me feel so damn special
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
