did you get engaged???
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
