I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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