My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
