it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
