my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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