It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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