I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
