Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
