she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i've created a new STD.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
