I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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