I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish i was in the wii world.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
