If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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