Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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