i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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