My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
