last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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