there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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