my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize