so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
you made out with another girl for some wings
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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