quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
