hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
