we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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