I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
