Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
