When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
