she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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