Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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