Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
