i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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