if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
