But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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