You're my little dorito
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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