the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
