I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
