I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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