chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
