My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
