been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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