In the future we'll all be gay
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I am midnight drunk by noon
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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