No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
it's like heaven, but drunker
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize