Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize