sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
this boner is exhausting
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
