You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
