Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you mean i was at the winter classic?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
