We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
