Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
