I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
