Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
