My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
