I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
