OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
