Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
