I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
